her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
