sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
