If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
