I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Randomize