Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
