I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember