just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
