I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
