i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
