are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
