your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
