He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
