that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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