My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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