even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
