I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
