after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize