we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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