Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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