i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
