absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I intend to get homeless drunk
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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