Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
