it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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