I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
