I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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