She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
