If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
