Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize