Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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