Reggie can tackle my bush.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
