Hey man sorry I got all grabby
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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