How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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