So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You are the jesus of drinking
Randomize
