Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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