I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
