my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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