we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
