it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
