It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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