Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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