Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
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Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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