Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
