i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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