So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
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After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
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See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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