I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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