you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
