the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
