I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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