Hey man sorry I got all grabby
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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