If i come over, it means nothing
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
