sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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