i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
