Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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