i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
its not stalking. its research.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
