Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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