Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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