i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
no more duck duck goose at the bar
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
