Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
