they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
