U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
