Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
