It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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