if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize
